I hope you’re having a really good day.

I need to ask you something:

What would you do if you weren’t so afraid of
your loved one with borderline personality disorder?

Well, I guess I should back up a minute and ask you,
ARE you afraid of your loved one?

Because most of the supporters I hear from are afraid
of their loved one. They tell me they feel like they’re
walking on eggshells most of the time, afraid of doing
something wrong.

There are several reasons for this (besides the obvious
face that your loved one has borderline personality disorder).

One of the biggest things about borderline personality
disorder is that the person suffering from it has a skewed
image of themselves. They see things in black and white.

Usually this means that they are right and you are wrong.
Even if you’re right!

Combine this with the fact that they may pick a fight with
you out of NOWHERE! And you never saw it coming.
There was no precipitating factor involved at all.

In fact, you may have been having fun a minute ago,
and the next thing you know, you’re in this huge fight,
and they’re right, and you’re wrong (and you still have
no idea what the fight is even about)!

The worst part is, if you try to fight back, they might
go into a rage, and then you’re really scared, because
then they become unpredictable. You have no idea
what’s going to happen then.

They might just be verbal about it this time. They may
berate you. Tell you how stupid you are. How
you never do anything right. What are they doing
with you, anyway? Humiliate you. Yell at you
(a lot). Scream. Throw things around.

And the fear is always there – Are they going to
hit you instead of the wall this time?

In my main course and resource below, I describe
unpredictable behavior associated with a loved
one who has borderline personality disorder :

SUPPORTING A LOVED ONE WITH BORDERLINE?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/report/

NEED HELP EXPLAINING BORDERLINE PERSONALITY?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/explainingborderline/

Is it the behavior itself that really frightens you?

Or the fact that it’s so unpredictable?

Or the fact that it’s your loved one that does it?

Or the fact that you’re just plain afraid all the
time around your loved one, and you walk around
on eggshells, afraid of doing something wrong,
afraid of arousing his wrath?

Let me ask you something:

What would you do if you weren’t so afraid?

What would you do if your life was more “normal”?

What would you do if you didn’t have to live
like this?

What would you do if you weren’t being yelled
at all the time?

What would you do if your self-esteem weren’t
in the pits?

What would you do if you actually had friends
that you could see and be with without being
afraid that your loved one would get jealous?

And again I ask,

What would you do if you weren’t so afraid?

WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

Your Friend,
Dave