Hope you’re doing ok.

Today I want to talk to you about

WORRY THOUGHTS

These are thoughts that your loved one has that get in the way of their
personal (interpersonal) effectiveness. One of these worry thoughts is that they
worry about bad consequences. This is because they’re afraid even before they
attempt to try anything, of what is going to happen AFTER they try it! This kind of
thing will keep them immobilized, so they won’t do anything at all. That’s why it’s
called a worry thought. They worry about whether they deserve to get what they want.
A lot of people are like this, not just people with borderline personality disorder. They
feel guilty if they get what they want, thinking about the starving kids in Africa, or
whatever. But with someone who has borderline personality disorder, this becomes a
worry thought, and is exaggerated.

In my main course and resource below:

SUPPORTING A LOVED ONE WITH BORDERLINE?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/report/

NEED HELP EXPLAINING BORDERLINE PERSONALITY?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/explainingborderline/

I teach about the signs/symptoms of people with borderline personality disorder,
and how sometimes they will have these kinds of thoughts, which determine how
they’ll act (or keep them from acting). For example, they also worry about not
being perfect. Now, some people who don’t even have borderline personality disorder
might be like that, and strive for perfectionism, but that’s something completely different.

Someone with BPD will worry it to death. It will affect everything for them. Like if
they can’t do it perfectly, they won’t try it at all.

And the real problem is that they not only expect themselves to be perfect, but
they expect YOU to be perfect, too, which can lead to a lot more problems.

Another worry thought is that they worry about doing things wrong. This is different from what I was just saying. Your loved one has a tendency to see everything in black and white, right and wrong terms. So they really worry about doing things wrong. This is a big concern for them.

In the same way, they worry about being a bad person. See? Black/white, right/wrong,
bad/good. But this goes way back to when they were real little, and has to do with their
low self-esteem and poor self-image (or lack of one). Deep down, your loved one may truly think they really are a bad person, so this may be a big worry thought for them.

Your loved one may even have a worry thought that they’ll fall apart if they get around strangers, that they won’t be able to hold up their “mask” any longer.

So they may not want to do things in public with you. So if you have a loved one like that, you may be able to understand why now.

Your Friend,

Dave